From Frustration & Resentment to Doing Our Best
Sometimes there are people at work who don’t seem to care as much as we want them to and who don’t do their job in the way we want them to. And the way we want them to do their job might just be to actually do it. We’re not always asking for the moon.
But guess what?
No matter how much we want somebody to care or to have compassion for our patients we can’t do a single darn thing about it. We can’t force them to care.
And while we can help build a case or help provide evidence that there is cause for firing somebody, we usually aren’t in a position to actually make any of the relevant decisions.
So what can we do when we realize that our most precious resources (our time and our emotional and physical energy and bandwidth) are being siphoned out of us by frustrated, resentful, bitter, angry, toxic thoughts?
That’s what I asked one of the MY FIRST 24 Alumni Program docs today in our individual coaching session.
She was giving this work colleague WAY more power than she deserved. She was allowing this person to literally drain her of her precious precious energy.
Does this person really get to have that power? Do we want that? NO!
What’s the story that we want to tell ourselves in those moments? After we allow ourselves to process the anger or the frustration. Instead of fuming and dwelling in it. Where can we take our energy and attention and actions?
This is what she came up with. And I love it.
“I’ll do what I can for my patients and I’ll do my best.”
And her best doesn’t involve this person who doesn’t care and who doesn’t do their job (which is to advocate for patients and connect them to the care and services they need).
And my client’s best is going to depend on her capacity and bandwidth in that moment. And that is just fine.
Maybe that means figuring out how to work within the system in other ways to facilitate what needs to happen. Whatever it is. She’ll figure it out with her patients and their families. In a way that serves the patient AND serves her, the doctor — who is also a person, and a mother and a wife and a daughter and a sister and a community advocate and a friend etc etc etc.
And guess what? SHE DID! Isn't it amazing what we can accomplish and how we can experience life if we give ourselves the opportunity, the permission, and the power to do it?