May 3, 2021
Happy Monday! Yesterday I re-learned a word. Lugubrious. I’m learning new words and re-discover words (mostly emotions) now-a-days. Since I’ve been coaching.
I noticed yesterday that Melody was lugubrious.
“Why do Jonah and Brynna like Lucia more than me when I was the one they knew first?!?!!” I didn’t take a photo of her then. She always gets upset when I do. But this is what she looked like. Furrowed brow, slight frown. The only difference is that Melody had a few tears that toppled over the edge and ran half way down her cheeks.
Yesterday we had a lovely hike with friends Melody LOVES. But she decided to boss the kids around after a while. And she realized that they stopped playing with her. They started interacting more with Lucia.
So she started with these thoughts: “My friends don’t like me as much as Lucia.” “They’re not nice.” “They’re not playing with me.”
She felt jealous, defiant, rejected. She didn’t like feeling that way. She cried & stomped around. She said harsh words in a loud voice. She glared.
And I loved her. And, luckily for us, our friends loved her too.
When Melody said “You’re not my favorite friend anymore. And Brynna is not my favorite either” to Jonah he responded “Isn’t it better if everyone is your favorite friend?” And he said it with so much love. And compassion. And he looked at her with a sweet, peaceful smile before he turned to scamper up the rocks after his siblings.
And I think that was a turning point. She opened herself to receiving love. She went from exuberant, lively and connected earlier to stormy & angry. Then to despondent & lugubrious. And then she felt loved. Which melted her cold heart and made for a much more enjoyable ending for her. And for us.
So today I’m celebrating two things. One is the excitement of learning about emotions generally and being able to identify them and how they make us behave.
And the other thing is specifically the power of love. Love allows us to embrace people for who they are in that one moment. We choose love over and over. Or not.
And when we feel loved we feel free to be our true selves. Without fear. Whether that is lugubrious or angry or joyful.