July 13, 2021
I had another fail!
This past weekend I sent out an e-mail reminder about the super important post-coaching survey to the MY FIRST 24 alumni. Remember, coaching is evidence-based! Everyone in the program completes pre & post-coaching surveys using the same validated tools that the researchers use to study physician burnout, resilience, self-compassion, quality of life etc. As amazing as everyones’ individual stories and testimonials are, I want some quantitative data showing that I’m making a difference.
So far I’m finding amazing decreases in burnout and major increases in self-compassion and resilience and quality of life. I am not going to be publishing the data. And it is de-identified and confidential. But it is important for my own growth & program improvement. And, as feedback for participants too. They see the changes in themselves (and so do other people) and that is the most important thing. But having some concrete data to show is cool right!?!
But, back to my fail, what I did was I double checked some things in the e-mail but not everything and I included the wrong button to click for the survey!
I didn’t know I had done that until one of them e-mailed me to ask about a new link. You might be thinking, “Emily, that’s really not a big deal.” But to me it was and always is. Because these are the thoughts running through my head: “I’m totally wasting their valuable time!” / “I always screw something up.” / “Now they’re going to think I’m a total flake.”
Again, all those thoughts came rushing back in. I spun around in self doubt, powerlessness, self-loathing and hopelessness. I noticed it. I felt it. I allowed it to pass through me. And then I moved on, sent an apology e-mail with the correct link, and thanked them for their patience.
And I reminded myself gently about the story of who I am, what I’m doing and why. That I’m incredibly capable & passionate. That I’ve built a life-changing, thoughtful, inspiring CME program for service-driven docs, and that every one of the alumni who got the faulty e-mail and subsequent corrected one love me for who I am, believe in me, and define me by all of me, and not just by my mistakes.
Whew! Coaching rocks!